Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reaction?
Optimist: The glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Futurist: The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.
Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it?
C Programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
Assembly programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.
Basic programmers: No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.
Fuzzy logic guys: I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.
Prolog programmers: I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.
Non-procedural language programmers: I drank it when nobody was looking.
UI designers: What's that crap in my glass?
Pentium users: I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.
Windows users: Where's my straw?
Mac users: Where's my pump?
UNIX users: Nahh . . . too easy.
Multimedia author: [slurp!]
Shareware game author: That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
Security consultant: Where'd the rest of the milk go?
CIA: What makes you think that's milk?
NSA: We know what it really is.
Copy protection crazies: Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!
Free Software Foundation: That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind.
Bill Gates: Not enough market share to be icrosoft Milk.
Apple Computer: You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.
IBM: Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for you.
IRS: Thanks for getting your milk withholding correct this year.